i fucked up i fucked up i fucked up i fuked upppp
shit lads sorry this looks like a vent post but i was in my living room w/ my mom and we were watching that show finding bigfoot and i was scrolling on tumblr and without thinking, not registering this is my Mom next to me , i said “bigfoot is a dilf”
and my mom stared at Me and she w as like “what. whats a dilf blaine???” and i just “……” and then
and then she went on her phone and searched it bc shes the type of person that Has to know whats up and what im saying she has 2 understand ALL lingo and her fuckin. her face. her fucking face when she looked at me . she looked so ashamed. she birthed me and raised me and i told her
to her face
that bigfoot was a dilf
how. how the fukc do i go on im hiding in my room and we just ordered pizza how do i go on im starving but i cant look at her she looked so aahsmed im
today in “things that didnt really happen”
you are a reylo fanblog but u wanna educate ME on things that could never happen……Okay.
ive reblogged this post before but this is my first time seeing this INSANE clapback… rip that guy….
Old People Restaurant Scam. You know the scam. Whine about perfectly good food to get some sort of comp.
In their old age, my parents befriended another older couple who would pull this stunt everywhere they went. After my mother told me a few stories about how their new friends had shown them how to get discounted or free meals, I felt like I was suddenly the responsible adult, concerned about the bad influence these people were on my parents.
While visiting my parents with my girlfriend, this other couple attended dinner with us. As I expected, the food was brought to the table and they immediately began dramatically complaining to one another about the quality/taste/temperature/etc. They were making a scene in order to attract the attention of the waitress. When our waitress returned to ask how we were doing, the miserable old bastard who played the lead role in their act took a deep breathe, struck a dramatic pose (with his hand raised to begin gesticulating for emphasis) and bega–I leaned forward and cut him off before he could finish the first word: “Everything is absolutely fantastic. It’s all great! Thank you very much!” She smiled, and began her obligatory “Great, well if you need any–” when he made a second attempt. “We come here all the time an–”. I didn’t acknowledge that he was speaking at all, repeated that all was just as we ordered and thank her again.
He was stunned and thrown off from his routine by my interruption. During this pause the waitress walked away (It seemed clear that she knew what they were trying to accomplish). He turned bright red. I turned to my girlfriend and, smiling and without lowering my voice, stated how pitiful it is that some people could be dishonest, deceitful and put at risk the livelihood of a cook, server or hostess for a pathetic discount or a free early-bird special. My passive-aggressive reverse-parenting broke my parents of the habit in short time.
And baby boomers talk shit about Millennials being entitled
As a Jimmy Johns employee for three years, the largest demographic that scams us for sandwiches are older than 40.
COOL DATE IDEA: take a really long nap with me
Scientifically and psychologically speaking, long periods of physical contact or just closeness stimulate chemicals in the brain that promote trust. If you’ve ever slept while cuddling somebody you just met, you know how incredibly comfortable you feel with them after you wake up, as if you’ve known each other for years. So yes, a long nap together is actually the ideal date if your goal is a relationship based on trust.
A few weeks ago a 15-year-old called me “Grandma” for being able to remember when the first Twilight film came out, and I still haven’t mentally or emotionally processed this




